Choosing a Better Life with Best-Selling Author and Keynote Speaker Pete Smith
For more information on Pete Smith, best-selling author of Dare to Matter, keynote speaker, and great guy, click here
Andy Core 0:00
My name is Andy core, I’m an expert on stress and productivity. I’m an author, speaker and researcher. And in my efforts to help people in challenging times like we face now, I’ve started a live stream so that way not only can we interact individually, you can post comments and we’ll do my best to answer them and respond, we really welcome those. And but also, I wanted to bring on people I respect and really, I think their message can help you and me through this challenging time to stay motivated. I was kinda like to give this as an introduction. I one of my past clients was JB Hunt, the founder of JB Hunt trucking. And JB was an incredible guy. He made a bazillion dollars with this trucking company with a seventh grade education. One of the things that he always told me, though, that I never heard forgotten is that Andy, it’s easier to make a million dollars than it is to keep a million dollars. And I’ve remembered that I don’t have that worry yet. But. But I think that also applies to motivation. It’s easy to get refilled. Try to get refocused and something happens, and you get motivated to change. It’s a lot harder to stay motivated, especially when things get difficult. So hence this live stream. So today I have a very special guest, Pete Smith, Best Selling Author of dare to matter and keynote speaker and really awesome, dude. So welcome, Pete.
Pete Smith 1:29
Thank you, Andy, love being on here with you. I appreciate the invite looking forward to our conversation.
Andy Core 1:34
So let’s get our conversation started. I thought one, one of the things that would really interest my viewers is to get your thoughts. You told me that recently, you ran into a situation at a couple of events where you were speaking that you fought that you thought was really kind of interesting. So share that with me.
Pete Smith 1:55
Yeah, yeah. So yeah, so I was speaking at a conference. And there’s two speakers that that went before me. And one of them was talking about the topic of diversity and inclusion, that was his specialty. Something that happened to one of his younger sons. And then there was a picture of brought up on screen where his son had a Black Lives Matter shirt on. But within that, the that shirt, there were certain letters that were highlighted. And he had highlighted the eye in lives, and the the entire word matter, right. So I thought, oh, that’s, that’s a really cool, cool message. The next speaker is talking about the difficulties that she has had an experience in mental illness, and she’s relaying her story. And she said something that that really piqued my interest. And it was a paraphrase exactly what she said. But it was basically her desire to act or be seen as normal. Because she said, and then I would know that I mattered, right? And the reason why that was so interesting to me is, of course, my entire message. And what the book is all about is dare to matter, you know, and it’s a fundamental core desire that we all share. I deliver that message through my experience as someone who survived a stroke, right. And as you know, there’s that moment during the stroke when I thought, my life is ending, I’m dying, I have about 60 seconds left to live. And so what I thought about in that moment, like it wasn’t about success and happiness, it was everything about was I significant, did I matter. And so, here I am at this conference of getting ready to share this message with the audience that what we all desire, our foundational desire, just as human beings is that we want to matter. We want to contribute in ways that matter, we want to live a life that matters. So I’m getting ready to deliver that message. But two speakers before me are relaying the same message, just different journeys on how they got to that same core desire. And so I think it just speaks to the truth of that type of desire that we all have, we want to matter. It doesn’t matter what the external circumstances are outside, fundamentally within us at our core. That’s what we want to know, right? That we’re that we’re contributing in ways that matter that we’re making a difference in the lives of others that we’re not here just by accident or by chance, but some sort of intentionality behind it. So it was a really cool experience that
Andy Core 4:30
way. That’s fantastic. Pete, I love that story. And, you know, I’m really a big fan of your message. You know, when Pete and I met, it was like we he told me about his message. I looked through his book, you know, I’ve looked through his videos and his, what he his content connects with me because I think at the core of living a life where you can stay motivated in challenging times, or thrive in any high demand environment, or overcome challenges is This idea of being significant have be of mattering more to other people. And I think that’s a key message for people in sales. I mean, how can you matter more to your clients? As a parent? How can I matter more as a parent with my kids with my wife? You know, I mean, it just it’s really is, I think when you pull away everything, it comes down to really do you matter? Do you feel you’re living a life of significance? And I speak to that in a different way. But I like how you directly go at that. Pete. So I think deep down, everyone wants to matter more. Yeah. So start kind of giving me some insights on, you know, in a challenging times staying motivated to make the hard choices often. What are your thoughts on how to actually do that? Yeah,
Pete Smith 5:51
so And obviously, 2020 has been, you know, the year that we all got tested on that one, right, in 2021. While things look a little bit more optimistic, we’re still facing that, that same sense of adversity. And so in an odd way, it’s almost been a huge blessing, because you get a chance to recognize how much we base our fulfillment or satisfaction on external circumstances. And so when you recognize, wow, I’m not really where I want to be simply because of things happening externally, you know, that’s a red flag for all of us that maybe it’s not about things that are happening externally, maybe it’s about how we show up to the things that are happening externally. And so it all of a sudden forces us to recognize that we can dictate certain things, right, which is odd in a time where we don’t feel like we’re really dictating anything, you know, but we do. And so it’s really important to distinguish between even something like motivation you’re talking about before. And sometimes people go through different phases of whether they feel motivated. And I say that intentionally because a lot of times we equate motivation with a feeling. And the problem with that is Feelings come and go, right? And so really step back away from that and be more intentional on looking at what’s my purpose, right? How do I show up in a way where I get to be purposeful, be intentional, and live out my purpose in every aspect of my life, regardless of what’s taking place externally? So have there been moments when I have not been happy? Yes. You know, like, Look, I’m a dad, with redheaded kids like that comes with the territory, you know, like, they’re crazy. And so there’s, there’s times when when I’m not happy, but we have to compartmentalize, all right, I may be happy, I may be sad, but you know what, I’m still on fire. I’m still intention, I’m still fulfilled with my life as a whole. Because there’s still so much more that I want to do, both here and in the lives of others. And I think that type of intentionality is what keeps people moving forward, even when they don’t feel like it.
Andy Core 8:08
I mean, that’s one of the reasons why I think we resonate is because I say a similar thing I like is, you know, I’m a Research guy. So I come from the research perspective, and what motivates people what energizes people when you’re at work? What energizes you? And then a lot of people say, Well, you know, money is a very big motivator for me. And I think money can be a great motivator. Except money’s not enough. When times get tough. It has to come from somewhere else. And I think we’re what you were calling significance I love I mean, I call it meaning. And meaning if you look at the research, meaning is the top motivator for people when things get sketchy disrupted, you know, you get overloaded, you get pressured, whatever the case may be. So like, for me, the two things that you’ve mentioned, so far that really resonate is one, we really do have to clarify, identifying lead with the meaning behind our work, otherwise, it you’re gonna become you’re, then you’re at the whim of your feelings. And then also to, you know, this idea of choice. I’m a big believer in that as well, you know, we have some great synergy there. And, like for me, I know that people must choose based on what they have control over. And if they’re if you’re making choices on like you said the external things, if you’re tying your emotions and your choices to external motivations, I mean, that’s not a terrible thing, but that’s going to really run dry when things get challenged. So tell me a little bit more about how you talk to people about choosing and choice.
Pete Smith 9:40
Sure, sure. So I mentioned earlier the way that that I really came to know that this is a core fundamental desires through my experience of surviving a stroke, right, it was 35 at the time, my stroke, and I was blessed with a 100% recovery which is, you know, just so thankful for that. But because of that experience, I kind of set out on this path to really figure out alright, if this is what we’re going to think about in the end, right, if we’re going to, to really assess in our minds whether or not we mattered where we significant didn’t make a difference. How do we how do we show up in a way that allows us to know that, that we do, in fact, matter? And so I kind of set out on this path to connect with people that are at different stages of their lives, you know, and on one hand, I connected with people that they always had just a sense of, of joy about it, you know, like, it didn’t matter what was going on, they just seem to be content, they were filled, it was going to be okay. And then there were some other people on the other side of the spectrum where it didn’t matter what was happening in their lives, they were always going to find a way to be miserable. You know, I mean, like, these are the people that win the lottery for a million and you’re like, hey, congratulations. And they’re like, Yeah, I wish it was to him. Like really, you know, like those types of people. It doesn’t matter what’s going to happen and so then everyone in between…