Andy Core is an expert in Work-Life Balance, Wellbeing, and Peak Human Performance.Disappointment and grief are some of the hardest things to deal with in life. Even when you work hard and give it your all, bad things can happen to you and you can suffer setbacks. In such cases, you may think life is unfair and feel miserable, but you have to accept that those things are out of your control and you can only control how you react to the situation.
Five tips to deal with grief:
Accept that you’re sad:
Stuff happens. And the first step to dealing with something is to admit that it’s there. You may need days or weeks to sit with your sadness before you can move on. That’s okay. It’s a part of life that everyone has to deal with, and it will take some time to get over.
Don’t numb the pain:
This is part b to the first tip. Yes, you’re going through something difficult, but you’ve got to go through it. You can’t get past your sadness if you ignore it with alcohol, drugs, food, sleep or whatever else your method may be. You honestly might have a few nights where you have too many beers and shed a few tears, but don’t let that become your life. Put your chin up and move on.
Part of moving on includes being so busy that you don’t dwell on the negative. Work hard at your job. Get some new hobbies. Clean your personal space. Being successful in these realms will motivate you to have a positive perspective.
Focus on the good:
Having a positive perspective is impossible unless you choose to focus on what you’re thankful for on a daily basis. Keep a gratitude journal. Get out in nature. Play with your dog. This grief is only a piece of your life. Put your energy into contemplating what else is making you happy.
Build your community:
Good people make for a good life. If you’re lonely or avoiding others because of your grief, it’s so much harder to get over it. Be intentional with the relationships you have and if you’re lacking people in your life, put yourself out there and meet people. Sometimes you have to choose to make friends. Sometimes your friends come to you. Either way, they are an invaluable part of your recovery process.
It can be hard to remain positive during difficult times but it’s not impossible. There is often a lighter side to things and sometimes when one door is closed, another is opened for you. You should just focus on the good things in your life and appreciate what you still have. You don’t have to go through hardship on your own so don’t be afraid to ask for support from those close to you.
If you keep a positive attitude you will eventually recover from your setbacks and be a stronger person in the end, sometimes you may just need to follow the advice of a motivational speaker who’s been through grief too.
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