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good listener

Three Habits of Unproductive Listeners

Sheldon. Big Bang Theory. Listening SkillsAndy Core is an expert in Work-Life Balance, Wellbeing, and Peak Human Performance.

One of the most important personality traits is the ability to stay flexible. You can’t learn if you think that you know everything, and if you don’t continue to learn, you won’t be productive.

Habits of Unproductive Listeners:

Not listening.

People forget to listen when they are having a conversation. When you are only crafting a response in your head while someone else talks, you are failing to really listen and you are showing the other person that you don’t actually value what they say.

Being Rude.

You should never interrupt a mid sentence. This applies to assuming you know what people are thinking and finishing what they say, or to just plain interrupt. Bottom line- It’s rude and it’s disrespectful. Furthermore, you can be missing out on something that can be of great help to you that may improve your productivity.

Assuming Boredom.

Learn to listen even if a conversation seems to be mundane, it may mean a lot to the other party involved, and you can still may gain some information that can be of great help. Through talking to others, you create relationships with people who could benefit you in the long run, even if they’re boring in the present. Never ignore even a simple conversation, because it can lead you to finding that to know someone quite as well, or you may enable you realize something important about yourself.

Without other people, life can never be fulfilling. You are actually cheating yourself in the end if you won’t do others the courtesy of listening to what they have to say. When someone is talking to you, make the effort to listen, really listen, and make your life better for it.

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Five Simple Tips to Talk to Your Teen

parenting Andy Core is an expert in Work-Life Balance, Wellbeing, and Peak Human Performance.

I was a weird kid because I actually chose to hang out with my parents. The three of us would have fun talking about all kinds of things, and it was rarely a stressful occasion. So for all of you who are looking for the best ways to connect with the teens in your life, here are five helpful tips:

Chill Out. 

Don’t make every conversation about forming them into a better person or correcting their behavior. Focus on being their friend. When communication doesn’t feel like a threat, conversation will relax and you’ll get to know each other a lot better. So when it comes to the stage where your teen is opening up to you, it’s imperative that you hear them out without being cynical, judgmental and avoid mocking or criticizing them. You have to learn to be a good listener because sometimes all your teen wants from you is your support, your understanding and the feeling that you care.

Be Real. 

Admit when you’re wrong. Tell them stories about when you were young, and tell them the truth. Teeanagers don’t want to be treated like children and if you want them to become independent adults, you’ve got to be honest about life and openly tell them what you’ve learned, be it from mistakes or personal wisdom.

Learn to Laugh.

Part of the reason I loved hanging out with my parents is due to the fact that they thought I was hilarious. We sat around and joked about the bizarre things that life brings. If there was something I did that got on my dad’s nerves, you better believe that he was going to poke fun. The best part? I could poke fun back. My parents were less focused on being right and respected and more focused on letting me be myself.

Debate. 

When it comes to the tricky points in your relationship when they want to do something you don’t agree with, don’t just say no with the logic, “Because I said so.” or my favorite, “my house, my rules.” Maybe that is enough logic for you, but teens will hear this and get frustrated because they feel like they aren’t being respected. So rather than shutting down the conversation, let the argument flow and explain your position with logic that allows your teen to understand your position. If they still push after that, then you may have to do the parent thing, and, “Put your foot down.” But at least they will understand a little better why you think what you think, and they’ll be less likely to disobey.

Give them Space.

All this to say, there will be moment when your teen won’t like you and you won’t like them. There will be tough periods and rough moments where the best method of communication is to let them be. Hormones can make conversation impossible, and during those times, you’ve got to allow them to be ticked off and stubborn. Empathize with what they’re going through, because you went through it when you were their age.

Basically, treat your teen like a person. Don’t try to control too many things and when they do things that you don’t understand remember that this too shall pass and one day the bizarre behavior will subside to a minimum. Until then be there for them as much as you can and roll your eyes when you can’t make sense of them.

 

 

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Author and speaker on work-life balance, productivity and wellbeing
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